Run It Out

Ahh...today I finally had a chance to get back outside and run Lake Zorinsky. As I've mentioned many times before, this was the place of my many runs prior to becoming preggo and early on in my pregnancy. I love running outside and for some reason Lake Zorinsky has been my place - I love running along the water, into the trees, up the hills...it's relaxing. Today was more about taking the time to work my body out and needing some uninterrupted time to think.

Can I be very honest without being judged?

Most of that time was spent thinking about little man. We had his physical therapy appointment earlier today. And while everything {for the most part} was good - he got a thumbs up for his range of motion and how we're handling his exercises - after a long talk with Katie {our PT} she said we would need to go to the cranial remolding office to get a scan on his head next week because he is highly likely to need a cranial remolding helmet.

Our big boy at his appointment

Ok...so that's not so bad, right?

While being outside running gave me a chance to unwind, it also gave me a chance to fill my head with unnecessary thoughts. I had done so well up until the halfway point...and then I lost it. Tears started filling my eyes and my throat got very tight. It was hard to continue running. I'm so sad that our little guy has to go through this...

I know, I know...it could be so much worse and we are so thankful to have a healthy, happy baby boy {so, so very fortunate}. I honestly get that and feel so ashamed worrying about this so much because overall he is in good health and is developing physically.  But it breaks my heart thinking that he will have to go through this. I hate thinking that his small, little head will be confined inside a helmet for 23 hours a day. Not only that but his little neck will have that much more weight to bear when trying to hold his head up. It breaks my heart....And it's only four months, right? But four months...he hasn't even been in our lives four months and yet it feels like forever...I can only imagine how this will feel.

Bottom line, we will do whatever it takes to ensure he's fully developed and to avoid any potential risks as it relates to how he develops down the road. And I don't care if he has to be "the little guy wearing the helmet" to help form him correctly. Fortunately, we've caught this early enough and have been able to work with him for the past month and a half....and we will continue doing what is needed to get him better.

Remember, I asked you not to judge me for worrying so much about this and I'm just using this space as a place to vent and worry and be upset....but all I can say is that parenting is so hard. It's the hardest thing I've ever done....ever. I hate being this person who worries all the time. And this is only 3 1/2 months in. I can only imagine how much more difficult it gets as they get older and are put into even more difficult situations.

We've Got A Roller!

I'm not sure if it was little man's excitement to watch his first Oscar's or what...but he was excitedly moving and playing last night on his floor gym, pulling his legs up toward his face and then it happened...and so quickly....before I knew it he had rolled over onto his side!

On Friday when I was picking him up at day care, he was in his crib laying on his left side and Ms Ida explained that he had rolled over on his own. Fast forward to tonight and it was like he's been rolling over forever...obviously I didn't catch the "first" rollover on film BUT I was able to catch him when he did it again and he didn't stop until he was finally ready for bed...and so tired! It's things like this that make me realize just how quickly he has grown and will continue to grow and change so quickly. Is it bad that it makes me sad, but also so excited at the same time?!?

Just playing under my floor gym

Pulled my legs up and leaning left...

...even farther...

I did it!

And I'm not ready to stop moving and squirming

Still going....

Almost a 360 degree scoot around my mat!

Girl's Night Out

What had started out as a couple's night at the Angels Among Us wine tasting, quickly changed when I found out Nick was going to be traveling to Chicago for a poker tournament. Since I already had locked in my parents to watch little man that night, I decided I still need to get out on the town and immediately secured my girls for a night on the town.

I had wanted to dress up a bit for the event, but I wasn't in the mood to bundle up Cruzer and schlep him around the mall while I found something to wear, so instead I went "shopping" in the next best place - Tessa's closet. Little man and I headed over there on Wednesday night after I picked him up from day care {they were at a fish fry for Ash Wednesday} and I quickly found what I wanted to wear. BUT we couldn't leave without a little fun {especially since Tessa likes to leave her print at my place when she's there and we aren't}. So I put Cruzer on Kayden's bed and loaded him up with the kid's favorite toys {Aaysen's blue puppy, Dayvaney's moo cow and Kayden's Lion's pillow pet}, snapped some pics and sent them on to Chris & Tessa's phone.  Based on the immediate response I got, I think the kiddos were a bit worried that little man was stealing their favorite possessions.

Snuggling in Kayden's bed

The animals are coming with us!

On Friday, I left work early so I could pick up Cruzer and meet my parents at the house. Morgan & Kristen met us there and we headed downtown to Urban Wine Company. We had a great time sampling the wines, chatting and checking out some items to bid on in the silent auction. We narrowed that down to a couple & decided we would all bid on a wine tasting for 12 - we ended up getting out bidded even with our efforts of standing right next to the table and staying laser-focused at the bid sheet. By the time Britt got there, we were a bit giggly from the wine and headed to dinner at Hiro 88. Some great food and lots of drinks {and interesting conversation later}, we headed to Myth martini bar {only to realize it was a much older crowd than we preferred} and then made our way to O'Connors.

Britt & Kristen - showing off their mammoth orange & mini lime

From this picture you can see we were having a good time

Twin dresses!

Ran into my cuz Ross

It was a great girlie night out, but I have to say I missed little man like crazy and was happy to get home. It also didn't help I was hurting something terrible the next morning and had to go to work...

My Baby Boy: Fifteen Weeks Old

Our little guy is 15 weeks old today! Love him so much!

Happy little guy

Story of him these days: legs & hands going crazy!

Little Man's First Professional Pics

It's about time, you say. Yes, these are finally the first pics we had taken of our little guy back in November. Shortly after Cruz was born I scheduled his first photos with our wedding photographer, Farrah Grant, who has since moved from wedding photography into infant pics.

The hubby, MIL and I made our second trek outdoors with our little guy just nine days after he was born. Farrah had a new studio downtown and when we got there it was so warm & toasty....just perfect to entice our little guy to sleep. We started feeding him and changed him, hoping he would fall right asleep {like normal}, but he was not having it. Farrah and I sat, walked and rocked little man but he was fighting sleep like you couldn't believe. Finally, after an hour he decided he would rest for us and at this point I was very anxious {& a bit sweaty} even though Farrah kept reassuring me that she dealt with this often. I made the decision not to take his diaper off {worried he would have an accident} and quickly regretted it as soon as we got the proofs back {I just wish I had some cute wrinkly butt pics}...

However, he took some amazing pictures which we made into his birth announcements/Christmas cards back in December. We had a couple of good ideas {baseball pic, etc} and looking at these now it makes me a bit sad to see just how much he's grown up in a few short months, but happy to see that sweet little face.

A baseball pic was a must w/ the hubby's family tree

Sweet sleeping face & little body wrinkles - love them!

Cuddling w/ a baseball

Just a little bug

It's a smile!

I'm amazed at how "bendy" these little kiddos are when they are in a deep sleep

Little baby in a basket

Back arch

I'm getting excited for our next round of prof pics which I think we will plan on taking around 6 months...I can't believe that is less than three months away...

Primrose Prom

Last Friday, little man has his very first prom at day care. Prior to I was wondering what I was going to have him wear because they mentioned we should dress them up. I figured I could find a cute little tuxedo t-shirt online or something fun. Instead, on Monday one of the other moms mentioned that she was going to buy a couple white onesies and make something for all the little guys in the room. I figured it would be a simple tie drawn on a onesie or something like that....but to my surprise she made a masterpiece...

She had taken a fabric marker and drawn in the look of tuxedo lapels and a tuxedo shirt, as well as a little bowtie which she made different colors for all seven boys in the room. To top it off she added a fabric flower on the front and then stamped "xoxo" on the little booty of the shirt. How cute!

So on Friday, we got little man dressed up in his prom best and took a few photos at home {we absolutely needed a memory of his first prom!}. I dropped him off at day care where they took a photo of little man and I in front of the prom back-drop. This was one of the days where I would miss a midday day care event for our guy because at 10am they invited all parents back to come for music, punch and cookies and lots of dancing with the kiddos. I had to be happy with the fact that most other parents could make it so Cruzer had many teachers in day care to focus their attention on him while we were at work.

When I came back at the end of the day to pick him up, he was still in full gear {no spit up issues!} and as we left they handed each of the parents a bouquet of flowers....I just love this school!

Big eyes!

Staring at daddy

Laughing at daddy's funny faces



"Would you like to dance with me?"



Five Chicas & Four Little Men: A Night In Pictures

Five chicas, four little men, three costume changes {Patricia}, two types of wine {red & white} & one amazingly fun night...

It's not often that we can get these fabo ladies in the same room but we managed to plan a dinner date that didn't result in one {or more} of us going into labor. And this time we added four perfect little men to round out the night.

Jill met little man and I at our house and we made the trek to CB where we walked into Patricia's house full of yummy smells {this girl can cook!} and open bottles of vino. The talking, laughing and fun didn't stop the entire night. I miss spending time with these ladies but love it when we get together...I will let the pics tell the story of the rest of the night....

Love these ladies {& little Adler in Heidi's arms}

Little man winning over Jill

Shannon & Batman!

Heidi & Adler {she JUST had a baby in January....I know, you can't tell}

Liamo & Brekk

Sitting down to eat with our mini dinner companions

Cruzer finally met auntie Shannon

Brekken hamming it up

Shannon, Heidi & little man

Look at little Cruzer....love those cheeks!

Faking conversation
{it would be more believable if Jill were talking into a beer bottle}

Hmmm that looks natural

Cruzer w/ Ms Cleveland Ohio {ie major cleavage}

Sorry ladies...just had to post this one .
{can we get one of them the pitchfork ala "American Gothic"}

Wrestlemania



My favs!

 

Fun pose

Our photog for the night!

My Baby Boy: Fourteen Weeks Old

Happy 14 weeks of life my little man!!

What a big 14-month-old

Superman kicking like crazy!

Love that face